Masha's Clown

When we did the clown run in class I learned so much about my character. The whole time I was on stage the only thing I cared about was being with Konstantine and when I was with him on stage the only thing I cared about was making him notice me. I got a great note, however, that you can’t play a scene wanting only something/someone that is off stage. So I came up with things that I want from Medvedenko in the scene, because the way I played it in the clown run I couldn’t tell you what made me stay and keep talking to him. I decided that I enjoy Medvedenko’s company. When we first met I liked our conversations and we became friends. I don’t want him to think that I am in love with him and I want to make that clear. I don’t want to be responsible for him not being able fall in love with someone else, because I am in love with Konstantine and don’t feel that way about Medvedenko.

During the speed run we had on Tuesday I was having so much trouble figuring out why I started talking about a storm and I remembered Matt saying something about a storm happening inside me not just in the weather. In the scene I notice the weather in order to change the subject because I am tired of him lecturing me about money and me not giving him enough credit and attention. Which makes me think about how Medvedenko only cares about money and thinks one can’t live without it. However, I think it would be worse to live without love. Then I say “But you wouldn’t understand that…” This is because he never tries to understand me he only pretends to. I always tell him how I feel and then we just end up talking about how he has no money and how he understands if I can’t love him because of that.
I also noticed in this run that I was paying attention more to the exercise instead of actually going after what I wanted. I was worried about getting rid of pauses ect. that I wasn’t playing actively. Although, whenever I wasn’t talking I was able to completely engage and go off my impulses because I didn’t have to worry about speaking. For the showing tomorrow I am going to wait for my impulses, while still having an urge to speak. I have to act like this is the only time I can say what I need to say, or else I will lose Konstantine forever.